I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
