can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
