at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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