Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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