She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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