saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
