That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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