I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
