I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
