uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
