My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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