I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She needs sedatives and a leash
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
