he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
