Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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