You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He had one of those small greek statue penises
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
