If i come over, it means nothing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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