And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
