I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The power of my boobs compel you
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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