He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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