Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
