suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
