We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
