oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
