Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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