i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
