You made me cry and you don't even care
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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