This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
