My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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