that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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