i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
