Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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