It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
