That's intense
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
soo... how was my night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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