I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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