I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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