Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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