My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
