The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
