it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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