he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
