awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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