Don't you send me to vm
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
