Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
being pregnant is like rehab
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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