He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
