**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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