He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
