either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
