She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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