Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
