Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
