Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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